puppy dog tails are a strange thing. depending on the breed of k-9 it is cosmetically appropriate to amputate the appendage when the animal is a few days old. i have cooked lobsters that have screamed less. listening to a little puppies in pain is one of the most intolerable noises i have had the privilege of channeling through my ear canals. the operation is crude. it involves a pair of clamps and a pair of scissors. no more. no less. the little tail makes a big crunch when the bone is separated by the clamp and is immediately followed by the wailing mentioned above. insert a few sutures and your dog will be ready for the west minster shit show or any variation of such. i can say what i helped do at work today killed some little part of me... it normally takes more than that to murder my little parts. i have been thinking a lot lately about why i do what i do. in my profession i see more suffering and pain than i would care to see. i am not an artist who thrives on inner anguish or external suffering. i fact my best work is done when i am happy before i sit down to paint. on a daily basis it is hard to come home happy. though i see animals get better, i see many more die. i see people losing family members. i see children cry and rationalize the loss of their best friend in what ever manner a child does such a thing. once the owner has left, the animal becomes my responsibility. when i tell other people what i do for a living they are amused. they immediately assume that my social personality reflects my work ethic. yeah, i am a pretty weird fuckin' dude. i like strange things. i do strange things. my self control and my common sense are nil. its why i have a hard time applying myself in any convention format. but that does not mean i go to work and mutilate corpses. i am very proud of what i do. it is a thankless profession. but what i do, not many can even stomach. i handle my dead with care and respect. i bring closure and i am proud of what i do. that does not mean that it doesnt take a toll on you. i love animals. squirrels, penguins and pandas..... and puffins. puffins are sweet. this is the first job i have had in a long time that i take seriously, and though that is a contradiction to my personality it matters little to me. i just wish it brought me more inspiration. all it inspires me to do is make sure my cats dont chew an electrical wire or my dog bloats. i really need to start drawing again....